Becoming Shinju's Hero
by reminiscent-afterthought
Summary: This is Miyoshi Karin's story.


**A/N:** Written for The Diversity Writing Challenge, g40 - fic that explores job/work related issues, and for The Sinnoh League - General Version, Route 201, task 1 - write a fic that contains doubt.

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 **Becoming Shinju's Hero**

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As a human, Taisha was the highest pinnacle they could reach, the closest they could be in servitude to the Shinju. Because that was the purpose of humanity, in the end. Subjects to the Divine Tree. Basking in its mercy and its protection, and giving back the only way they could: with the time and bodies that had been given to them.

Beyond the Divine Tree was the fire of hell who, it was said, would burn those not within the protective shade of the Divine Tree. Those who turned their backs on the Shinju. Who turned their backs on the teachings of the Shinju, passed down by the organisation that protected and served the Shinju since ancient times: the Taisha.

Taisha was what the world should aim for. An invisible aim for those who had no connections to the organisation and therefore did not know of its existence.

For Karin, it was a perfectly concrete existence, because her older brother was a part of the Taisha. The older brother that was strong and competent and the apple of her parents' eyes, and she was just the average one who'd, somehow and without even knowing how, fallen short.

'I want to be a part of Taisha, too!' she'd begged, one night when the prayers had been said and the food eaten and her brother was going off to work. 'Ni-san, isn't there something I can do?'

She expected him to say something like: "you're too young. Maybe when you're older, Taisha will look at recruiting you," but instead he said: 'your aptitude is too low.'

'Aptitude?' she repeated, confused. 'What's aptitude?'

'If you don't know that, then Taisha will never want you as a Hero, and that's the highest honour.'

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That night, it occurred to her that her brother had sounded unusually bitter when he'd mentioned "Hero". Perhaps his aptitude was too low, as well. Or he lacked something else. Some requirement she must already fulfil, if being a Hero was a possibility for her.

She almost laughed when the pieces drifted together. Was her accomplished, "apple in parents' eyes" older brother jealous that his little sister has an opportunity he didn't? But the "highest honour" was certainly something to be jealous about, and something to strive for as well.

'Okay,' she said to herself. 'I just have to improve my...aptitude.'

But first, she had to understand what it was.

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'Natural ability?' she repeated, staring at the tiny dictionary definition. 'What the hell?' _How am I supposed to improve that?_

She knew what her brother and parents would say. "You can't." She was the inferior one, after all.

But that bitterness in her brother's voice clung to her at that small, impressionable, age. A petty reason, perhaps. But she wanted to be a Hero even if the only reason was to best her older brother. It wasn't, of course. She would also be serving the Taisha, serving the Divine Tree – in, what according to her brother was, the highest and most honourable position.

Maybe the answer lay in what "Hero" meant. She could ask her brother for an example, perhaps. But then he might try and hinder her. Most of her knew that was unreasonable. He rarely actively _helped_ her, but hindering was an entirely different matter. Hindering another's progress went against the teachings of Shinju-sama. And yet… her older brother was a respected member of Taisha. Was closer to Shinju-sama than most people got in their lives. Maybe that meant he could get away with things like that. Or maybe it meant he thought himself above the rules, that his position would protect him.

In any case, she wasn't safe from hindrance simply because it went against the principles of the Divine Tree.

So whatever the answer was to attaining aptitude, to attaining a status that even her brother couldn't seem to reach, she would have to find it on her own.

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She read books about heros. A common theme was that they were strong. Not all of them, but a good number. Strong fighters. Proficient with a sword or some other weapon. Killing the bad guy and saving the day.

There were a few examples of other sorts of heroes. Heroes that won battles through word alone – but those heroes had an army behind them and, for the time being, she was along.

And then she happened upon the tale of Hercules. About the boy who wanted to become a hero, just like her. And he'd trained both his body and his mind in an ancient roman Coliseum.

That was probably impossible for her. She wouldn't be able to get to Rome and she doubted her parents would let her do it, even when she was in high school for an exchange trip or something like that. Her brother, of course, had never asked for such a thing. He'd had all the opportunities he'd needed in Japan.

In that case, she was going to need to find opportunities in Japan as well. Ways to train her body – and her mind.

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School started up again. She was still in her first year, so things were slow. She tried hard though. And, at first, she had to deal with the fact that she needed outside help. Even if any of those people could have steered her wrong. Even if any of those people could have told her parents or her brother and put an end to the farce.

Her marks slowly climbed. She brought them home with a shadow of pride because it still wasn't enough, was it? But her parents brightened. Maybe they thought she would accomplish something after all. Her brother seemed more worried though. Maybe he already knew.

But no. He was worried for an entirely different reason. 'You should have fun when you're young,' he said.

'I don't have time,' she snapped, before she could control her tongue.

He looked surprised. What would a five year old be working towards so desperately? he thought.

It was obvious, in her mind. She was working towards Shinju-sama. She was working towards being a Hero.

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It was slow, of course. But it was Shinju-sama and so she never felt it was too slow, too far. Faith had that effect, she supposed. Faith towards something almighty like a God. A human might waver but a God would not, and the mercy of the Divine Tree was all around them, unforgettable.

Seeing that every day, how could she turn her back on the path she'd chosen? The path to become a most honourable disciple of Shinju-sama, of becoming one of Taisha's Heroes?

To train her mind, she studied. She read books. She asked the librarian the words she didn't know, until she was old enough to manage with dictionaries and translation books and the repertoire of knowledge she'd made for herself. For her body, she trained. Mimicking the exercises they did in gym at first, and running every day. But she'd pushed herself too hard and the nurse scolded her and massaged the knot out of her back, and then told her to slow down. Made her a schedule since she insisted on being stronger, still. Promised to stick to it until she was ready.

She stuck to it, because he back had hurt terribly when she'd pulled it, and injuries like that would only slow her down, not help her. Her family had picked it up, of course, but she said she'd done something wrong in gym and the nurse was taking care of it, so they assented. It wasn't for the sake of Shinju-sama, after all. Not directly. It was her living her life until she could be a respectable member of society, and then pay back the Divine Tree for its mercy and all the opportunities she'd received.

Of course, she couldn't tell them it _was_ all for Shinju-sama, all towards becoming the Hero her brother had mentioned, towards improving her aptitude.

She didn't have any natural ability, he said. But she could still be strong and a Hero if she tried.

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When she was six, she asked her parents for martial arts lessons. She hedged. She promised to do extra chores if they'd allow it. They asked about her grades. "Won't they be affected?" She promised they wouldn't be – and of course they wouldn't. She was training her body and her mind after all. She couldn't sacrifice one for the other of them. They worried about her body. "Won't you get hurt?" She'd get stronger and that made it less likely she would be hurt. Her brother stood by and watched the ping-pong match with a curious look on his face.

Finally, they let her. She skipped upstairs happily. Her brother followed her. 'What are you trying to do?'

'Become stronger,' she said. She frowned at him. Was he going to dig the truth out of her? That wasn't fair.

It seemed, though, that he'd already put it all together. 'It was my mistake,' he sighed, 'mentioning the Hero system to you. It's impossible, Karin. You can't improve your aptitude.'

'I can,' she said stubbornly. 'I'll prove it. I'll join Taisha too.'

She didn't see him shake her head.

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She started out with karate. Because her body had to be ready to hold a weapon before she could try with something like a katana or a bow. She might not bother with the bow at all. They had an archery club at the elementary school. That might be enough, and one less thing to be questioned about.

She was right in that her marks stayed up. Maybe they climbed a little higher as well. It was easier to focus when her body was tired. It was harder to though when it was sore and she remembered the nurse from the previous year. The advice about her diet. The advice about her pace. She kept it all in mind and made sure she pushed herself hard but not too far.

And she didn't stop, because to stop meant to stumble, and to stumble meant to fall. And then it would be tough to get back up again, out of the sand, and tough to keep on going. So she simply wouldn't stop.

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'You don't hang out with your friends,' he parents said. She wondered if they were worried she was turning into a sociopath, or something.

'I don't need friends,' she replied. 'I see everybody at school enough.'

They weren't as dedicated to Shinju-sama, to the Taisha. They stood and bowed in the direction of the temple. They prayed in the mornings and before every meal. They studied the history of the Divine Tree and their world. But that was about all.

She supposed she couldn't blame them, though. Not everyone knew about the Taisha, until they were recruited or unless someone in their family had ties to the organisation. They lived thinking the epitome of serving the Divine Tree was living healthy, fulfilling lives. They didn't realise the Shinju-sama had need for Heroes, people to fight…what, exactly?

She realised she didn't actually know what she wanted to fight. But it didn't matter. She could fight anything, if she was strong enough. And she could become stronger if she tried her best, even if it was a slow road.

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'Are you still trying to become a Hero?' her brother asked, a few years later. She'd graduated her karate class with a black belt. She'd moved on to the katana. She'd joined the archery club as well. Checking boxes, one by one.

She scowled at him and continued her push-ups. Though she didn't chase him out. He was the more knowledge after all, at least on matters regarding the Taisha.

'A Hero died today,' he said bluntly.

She stiffened. 'D-died?'

'I never told you what Heroes do, did I?' he sighed and made to sit on her bed, before reconsidering and taking her desk chair instead. 'You know how the Shinju-sama exists on a plane separate to ours.'

'Of course I do.' She resumed her push-ups. 'Everyone knows that.'

'Well, on that plane, there exists something called Vertexes as well,' he explained. 'The Taisha aren't quite sure where they come from, but every so often, they'll appear around the Shinju-sama, and attack it.'

'Attack the Divine Tree!' she cried. It was blasphemy. It was inconceivable.

'The Shinju-sama can, of course, protect itself,' her brother continued, 'but if it does, the protections it's offered our world weakens. Large scale disasters occur as a result. Therefore, the job of Heroes are to defeat the Vertexes before they can get too close to Shinju-sama to necessitate redirecting its divine protection.'

'Heroes fight these Vertexes,' she surmised. 'So…a Vertex killed a Hero?'

'Three of them,' he explained. 'The other two Heroes were badly injured. They're recovering at the moment… and Taisha is searching for a way to make them stronger, to protect them and future Heroes from such a thing happening again.'

'Vertexes are strong,' she repeated. 'Strong enough that Shinju-sama can't protect itself from them without retracting the protections it's offered to us as its mercy and bounty. But dying while protecting Shinju-sama is the best death there is, isn't it?'

He smiled a little tightly at that. 'For her, maybe. For you, maybe. But what about everyone else? And those who can become Heroes, who can fight Vertexes with any chance of success, are rare. The Taisha doesn't want to martyr all the girls in the world.'

'Only girls can become Heroes?' She was lucky; her brother was telling her all sorts of things today.

'Only girls,' he replied. 'Young girls with a high aptitude. It makes the window for training potentials very small.'

'I've been training,' she said. 'I've been training my body and my mind. I've become really strong.'

'You're still serious about this?' He sounded surprised.

'Of course I am! I want to serve Shinju-sama the best I can!'

He shook his head. He sounded almost comforted when he said: 'You can't. Your aptitude isn't high enough.'

'I can,' she insisted. But inside, her heart plummeted. Hadn't Taisha noticed her efforts at all?

Or was her brother hindering them in a way she couldn't control.

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She had trophies. Proof of her accomplishment. Her brother was no longer the only apple in their parents eyes but Taisha had still not said a word to her. She was still inferior.

Maybe her brother was right, she found herself thinking again and again. Maybe she couldn't raise her aptitude simply by training her body and her soul. Or maybe there was something else she had to do, something no-one would tell her. Something her brother wouldn't tell her because he didn't want her to become a Hero, didn't want her to surpass him in Shinju-sama's eyes.

But she still wanted so desperately to get there. Her brother's tale didn't dissuade her. Dying for the Shinju-sama was okay. They were promised eternal glory, eternal peace, a place in the shade closest to its core, its true self… Who wouldn't want a promise like that except someone who didn't fear the fire that would, without the protection of the Divine Tree, engulf them after death. And what better thing could she accomplish with her life than becoming a Hero?

The only problem was her aptitude, it seemed.

And all she could do was continue on the path she was on, strengthening both her body and her mind.

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'You're serious about this,' her brother asked again. He'd taken to asking that quite often, like he held the key she lacked and it annoyed her.

'I've told you a million times,' she snapped. 'I am serious about becoming a Hero. About serving Taisha, and Shinju-sama.'

'There are other ways.' It was years too late for that argument, but he tried it anyway. 'You could become a Priestess of the temple. Or they might recruit you for your intelligence.'

'I'm not intelligent,' she said flatly. 'Just like I'm not strong naturally. I've trained for both of those. You said it yourself: I have no natural ability.'

His face is downcast. 'You're really serious?' he tried again.

'I am.'

She turned away and continued her push-ups.

He never asked her again.

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The next day, he was almost cold with her. Formal. 'Congratulations,' he said, in front of their parents as well. 'Taisha has recognised your efforts and decided to recruit you into their Hero programme.'

The smile that erupts almost splits her face into two. _Finally._ Her brother must have been wrong, then. Maybe that was why he was so sullen. And now he was here in his official capacity, giving the news he detested to give. Almost a sort of revenge for trying to dissuade her for all those years. It made her feel satisfied, along with the giddiness that bubbled inside.

Her instructions from Taisha were simple. She had a new training regime that wasn't too much different to her old one (must have been her brother's hand, she thought), and a few other instructions. Orders to download a certain app, that would activate when the Vertexes arrived in the area. Orders to stand by for further instructions, when the next batch of Heroes would be required.

'Not immediately,' her brother explained. 'The new Hero system needs to be tested first, so Taisha is using untrained girls for that. Your terminal will then be modified to expand on your current abilities.'

 _Untrained?_ If she'd had a high enough aptitude, she wouldn't have needed to work so hard? That almost wasn't fair. How could she help the way she was born?

But, ultimately, they would be the test subjects, wouldn't they? She'd be the real Hero. The one whose terminal was modified to fit like a glove. It would be sad if any died in the process but they should be honoured. It was the best death to receive. A place in Shinju-sama's shade, near its heart, and safe from the flames forever. Most people wouldn't ever be able to guarantee themselves such a thing.

She almost could.

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Two years later, the first signal came. It was too far away, and when she asked the Taisha, through their app, if she was to move closer to the source to fight them, she was told "not yet".

She supposed that meant the other Heroes were testing the system. She approached her training with a new zeal, because the time was close. Definitely close.

Another symbol appeared. Then another three.

Then the Taisha messaged her and told her to move to Sanshu.

She was happy to do it, and since the orders came directly from Taisha, her family couldn't rebuke them. They helped her move her things. They even brought her a treadmill to help with her training. She was a little touched by the gesture. But, of course, they only wanted her to do her best in the service of Taisha and the Divine Tree. To be a Hero meant honour for the entire family, after all. Honour for the family and the promised eternal resting place for her.

She moved to Sanshu. The new environment did little to her because she hadn't left behind any friends and she had a bit of freedom from her family. No older brother involved in Taisha and watching her every move. No parents who wanted her to at least reach her brother's status, if not eclipse him. Well, she was about to eclipse him, and they wouldn't be allowed to watch. She was about to become a true Hero.

The app vibrated. New vertexes had come.

She took a deep breath, then transformed into a Hero.

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It had been almost easy. All those years of training had prepared her for any foe, and the Vertexes were unprepared. Not so easy that she could afford to be complacent in the next battle. One careless move could end them, and those other Heroes had been careless.

If she hadn't been there, they might have perished. She wondered if they understood that. If they understood they were fighting, not for life, but for the ultimate death.

Her reports to Taisha were short and scathing. In short, she hadn't been impressed with them at all.

But they were only test subjects, after all.

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Taisha wanted her to work _with_ the test subjects, those other Heroes. Was their aptitude so high? She felt unusually bitter towards them. Like she was bitter to her brother. Why hadn't she been born with such talent?

She could have accepted it was Shinju-sama's will, to give her another role, to make her the perfect warrior, the perfect Hero to protect its form. But for those girls with no training and only natural talent to still be equal to her was less bearable.

Of course, though, it was Taisha's and Shinju-sama's wills, and she had to accept it with good grace.

For a fleeting moment, she wondered if her brother had felt this way, when he'd been tasked with giving her her Hero terminal and first orders.

Or maybe he'd been afraid she'd die like that other Hero. But that was a silly thought. He of all people should be happy for her. He was a part of Taisha, after all.

It didn't occur to her then that he might know more than he'd told about the new Hero system. Or more than he'd told about Taisha and the Divine Tree they served. It hadn't occurred to her that the words of the Taisha shouldn't be absolute, and that Shinju-sama wasn't as almighty as she, and the world, believed.

It hadn't occurred to her that, if Shinju-sama was the god that gave all life to this planet, then why did it need protection from it? Why was it bound by the same laws as the world it gave birth to? Why couldn't it protect itself from Vertexes and protect the world as well? And yet it was powerful enough to grant little human girls – why only girls? – the power to battle them.

It hadn't occurred to her that there might be something else buried beneath the entire system.

She was Miyoshi Karin and she just wanted to be a Hero.


End file.
